How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
