ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
