I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
