WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
