So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
