i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
someone owes me an orgasm
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
