so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
