Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
