Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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