I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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