the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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