hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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