I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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