i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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