whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
