i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
