We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
