Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
