Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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