thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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