I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
