I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
