I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Randomize
