I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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