P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
