Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
