So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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