so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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