**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
