i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Are we still banned from the library?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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