i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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