laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
