I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
