i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
