it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
