I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
