we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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