im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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