I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
