she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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