I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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