I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i dont even know how to be here
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
