she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
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i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
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Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?