so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
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I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
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It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.