So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
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He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.