We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks