id be glad to
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
