My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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