fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
