dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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