dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize