I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
