We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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