we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
