Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
