i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize