It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
