whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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