Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she told me i tasted like america
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
