Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
