Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
