I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
