Going to get a "plan B"urrito
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
