I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
