How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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