Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
