whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
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The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
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Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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