Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize