I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
