"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
