Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
